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Great is His Faithfulness

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For the past two Sundays, our choir has sung songs about God’s faithfulness. One Sunday we sang the great hymn of the church called “Great is Thy Faithfulness” with a new refrain:

Beginning to end, my life in Your hands
Great, great is Your faithfulness
You never let go, this one thing I know
Great, great is Your faithfulness

The next Sunday we sang a song just called “Faithfulness,” and the second verse caught my eye:

There are memories that seize my heart
But they will never steal or tear our love apart
There are victories yet to come
They are certain as the rising of the sun


On the way home from choir practice, I thought about what a coincidence it was that we sang about God’s faithfulness two weeks in a row. But as you know, there are no coincidences in God’s economy. As I begin to ponder His faithfulness more, I began to question His faithfulness to me. Yes, faithfulness is part of His character. However, I look back on the past few years and wonder where that faithfulness has been. All I…

The Word for 2020: Pray Bigger Prayers

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It started as the faintest whisper in my soul several months ago.

Why can’t you pray for that big thing you want to happen in your ministry?

Why can’t you pray to be totally delivered from that problem instead of using it as your crutch?

Why can’t you pray more fervently for Evan to be healed?

The whisper shocked me. Why indeed, Lord? I pray all the time. Why haven’t I prayed for these things and many more that are desires in my heart? And haven’t I actually prayed for these things?

The answer that has come back to me in the waning days of 2019 is, “You pray too small.”

I have journaled my prayers for years, but some days, they become rote and stale.

“Give Stewart a word for Sunday.”
“Forgive my sins.”
“Heal Evan.”
“Let Zach be a witness in his school.”
“Give me opportunities to speak and lead worship.”

And so on and so forth. But the Lord has shown me that mechanical, mindless prayers are not going to cut it anymore between Him and me. He wants me to pray big. He wants me to pray bold. And H…

I’ll Be Home for New Year

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I tried really hard to come up with some meaningful, spiritually impactful post for today. Really, I did. It’s a whole new decade, for goodness sakes! Yet, this is all I have. So enjoy! And I hope your New Year’s Eve is more exciting than mine!

I’ll be home for New Year
You can count on me!
I won’t dance
I’ll be in yoga pants
And hoping no one sees me.

The stroke of midnight will find me
Sleeping in heavenly peace.
I’ll be home for New Year
Snuggling with my family!

Happy New Year to all of you! I am praying God’s richest blessings on you in 2020!


So This is Christmas

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As I raced to the emergency room at 2:00 a.m. on a Monday morning with an extremely feverish little boy, the first song that came on the radio said, "So this is Christmas. And what have you done?"

I thought to myself in that frantic moment, "What have I done?"

I mean, I've done the things. We decked the halls. I bought the gifts and wrapped them. I did two Christmas musicals at church. I went to see Santa with Evan's class. I addressed and mailed Christmas cards. (Okay, I didn't order enough Christmas cards, so they went out in shifts this year. Sorry, world. I'm just trying to elongate your Christmas joy.) I have watched no less than 1,000 hours of Hallmark movies. Our family even throws a Christmas birthday in there for good measure. (Zach is now 11!). I've done Christmas. But what have I done really?

I probably shouldn't have been thinking philosophically in the early hours of the morning when my sweet boy is very sick, and I'm an an…

Don't Let the Story Die

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Tantrums

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As I turned to a fresh page in my journal, I leafed past the previous day's prayer. I noticed that it had been short. I had been crunched for time that morning because Stewart had been out of town, and I had to take the kids to school. But then I read the words. And I was appalled at myself.

The day before I had something to do that I had begged the Lord to take away from me. I had asked everyone I knew to pray the same. I had even posted on Facebook for people to pray for God to move this thing out of my way. However, He had not done it. At least not by that point in the day. Just a few short hours later, He did move it, and I had praised Him. But the words I had prayed that morning were those of a 2 year old who did not get their way. I was so ashamed.

I paused for a moment and considered starting the day's journaling before I had even done my Bible study so I could repent profusely. However, on that previous day, I had not done the assignment my counselor had given me - to …

My Time in the Pit

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October seems to be the month for all kinds of awareness. In our house, the most important is that it is Down Syndrome Awareness Month! We could not be more proud to promote love and acceptance for our sweet Evan, who is the joy of our life despite the many challenges he faces every single day!

But today I ran across another awareness day that I also could claim. October 15 is Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Remembrance Day. The statistics say that one in four women have experienced a miscarriage, a still birth, or the loss of an infant. I fall into the first category. In 2005, I suffered a miscarriage.

I don't talk about it much anymore. Zachary became our miracle baby when God finally gave him to us in 2008, so the pain of that time was mostly erased by the absolutely astonishing way God brought us Zach. If I am being honest, losing our first baby was a time of deep, deep sorrow for me. I fell into one of the largest pits of despair that I have ever experienced.

Back in 2005, people …