This weekend I attended our state Ministers Wives Retreat. It was my ninth year to attend. This year, I got to go with my two favorite ministers wives, Adrienne and Sandy. Every year has been different. Every year has held memories. But this year held something that I will never forget.
At our last session, our speaker for the weekend asked each of us to get a rock and a permanent marker. Sandy picked our rocks for us, but out of the three, I picked one that looked like a Colorado river rock. (My heart has been longing to be there as we were this time last year.) The speaker put a list of sins up on the TV screens. I pretty much knew what was coming - we were supposed to write our sins on the rock. But as I looked over the list, I wondered if I could just decoupage the entire list on the rock. It was that convicting. Just hard to look at it.
Finally, my gaze settled on one in particular. The act of writing it hurt me. It was something I promised myself I never would be - bitter. Bitterness killed my mother, and I have sworn up and down that I would never let that root grow in me. But it has. Some hard times in my life have brought it on.
I wrote two others on the rock, knowing I needed to admit to those. One of them was "pet sin" - one I struggle with constantly. The other one was a newer one, but I was still having a hard time with it. As the speaker finished her study, she left no instructions with what to do with the rock. I was hoping I wasn't going to have to bring it home. There was nasty stuff written on it. It wasn't pretty anymore. I didn't want to look at it every time I went in my yard or keep it in my house as some kind of reminder. But as we were finishing up, we were told what to do with it - go throw it in the lake behind the camp. That sounded like a great idea!
Sandy was leading a breakout session, so Adrienne and I sat in on her first teaching. It was fantastic. After that, Adrienne and I headed to the lake. We talked about what was on our rocks. It was a hard conversation for both us. Hard to admit to another person that we had battled those sins which seem so heinous. Finally it was time to throw the rocks in the lake. We chunked them as far as we could. We both noticed how the ripples went out from them. (And they were sizeable ripples!) It reminded me that our sin doesn't just affect us - it affects those around us. It affects every single part of our lives. That is why we have to get rid of it.
While we watched the ripples continue to spread from our rocks, something surprising happened - it began to rain. All of a sudden, the ripples were gone - washed away by the gentle drops of rain that had just started falling on the water. It was a beautiful moment.
In Sunday school the next day, Adrienne and I talked about that moment. And as God so often does, the lesson had the very scripture that I had thought of as I threw that rock in the lake:
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)
Now when those sins start creeping back in on me, I have pictured that moment and that rock going in the lake. They're gone. Done with. Remembered no more. And all I want to do is shout that Psalm from the beginning:
Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1-5, emphasis mine)
At our last session, our speaker for the weekend asked each of us to get a rock and a permanent marker. Sandy picked our rocks for us, but out of the three, I picked one that looked like a Colorado river rock. (My heart has been longing to be there as we were this time last year.) The speaker put a list of sins up on the TV screens. I pretty much knew what was coming - we were supposed to write our sins on the rock. But as I looked over the list, I wondered if I could just decoupage the entire list on the rock. It was that convicting. Just hard to look at it.
Finally, my gaze settled on one in particular. The act of writing it hurt me. It was something I promised myself I never would be - bitter. Bitterness killed my mother, and I have sworn up and down that I would never let that root grow in me. But it has. Some hard times in my life have brought it on.
I wrote two others on the rock, knowing I needed to admit to those. One of them was "pet sin" - one I struggle with constantly. The other one was a newer one, but I was still having a hard time with it. As the speaker finished her study, she left no instructions with what to do with the rock. I was hoping I wasn't going to have to bring it home. There was nasty stuff written on it. It wasn't pretty anymore. I didn't want to look at it every time I went in my yard or keep it in my house as some kind of reminder. But as we were finishing up, we were told what to do with it - go throw it in the lake behind the camp. That sounded like a great idea!
Sandy was leading a breakout session, so Adrienne and I sat in on her first teaching. It was fantastic. After that, Adrienne and I headed to the lake. We talked about what was on our rocks. It was a hard conversation for both us. Hard to admit to another person that we had battled those sins which seem so heinous. Finally it was time to throw the rocks in the lake. We chunked them as far as we could. We both noticed how the ripples went out from them. (And they were sizeable ripples!) It reminded me that our sin doesn't just affect us - it affects those around us. It affects every single part of our lives. That is why we have to get rid of it.
While we watched the ripples continue to spread from our rocks, something surprising happened - it began to rain. All of a sudden, the ripples were gone - washed away by the gentle drops of rain that had just started falling on the water. It was a beautiful moment.
In Sunday school the next day, Adrienne and I talked about that moment. And as God so often does, the lesson had the very scripture that I had thought of as I threw that rock in the lake:
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)
Now when those sins start creeping back in on me, I have pictured that moment and that rock going in the lake. They're gone. Done with. Remembered no more. And all I want to do is shout that Psalm from the beginning:
Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1-5, emphasis mine)
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