As I turned to a fresh page in my journal, I leafed past the previous day's prayer. I noticed that it had been short. I had been crunched for time that morning because Stewart had been out of town, and I had to take the kids to school. But then I read the words. And I was appalled at myself.
The day before I had something to do that I had begged the Lord to take away from me. I had asked everyone I knew to pray the same. I had even posted on Facebook for people to pray for God to move this thing out of my way. However, He had not done it. At least not by that point in the day. Just a few short hours later, He did move it, and I had praised Him. But the words I had prayed that morning were those of a 2 year old who did not get their way. I was so ashamed.
I paused for a moment and considered starting the day's journaling before I had even done my Bible study so I could repent profusely. However, on that previous day, I had not done the assignment my counselor had given me - to journal three good things that had happened that day. Stewart's flight home had been delayed, and he was very late getting in, so I had pretty much gone straight to bed without thinking about the good things of the day. So underneath my "toddler tantrum" to God I wrote the following:
1) I got out of [that thing I had prayed to get out of]. (And in the most hilarious, God-like way possible, I might add. His fingerprints were all over it!)
2) Stewart got home.
3) I read The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin to Evan for the first time, and he loved it!
After doing this exercise, I felt free to begin my Bible study. The Lord spoke over me many beautiful verses of healing and care that touched me. There was no condemnation. No criticism. Just love.
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world." (John 16:33)
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have what I need.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life;
he leads me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff—they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4)
Isn't that just like our God? We give Him our worst. He gives us His best in return. I learned that day that it is far better to trust Him than to stomp our foot like a child and spew out words of anger. Yes, sometimes we need to get those words out. But as the Psalmist does many times, he gets the requests of his heart and the bad things going on out of the way, but he always ends in confident trust in God. I had not done that in my journal. I have not been doing that in my life in general. It’s time for my childish tantrums to stop and time for me to trust Him more!
The day before I had something to do that I had begged the Lord to take away from me. I had asked everyone I knew to pray the same. I had even posted on Facebook for people to pray for God to move this thing out of my way. However, He had not done it. At least not by that point in the day. Just a few short hours later, He did move it, and I had praised Him. But the words I had prayed that morning were those of a 2 year old who did not get their way. I was so ashamed.
I paused for a moment and considered starting the day's journaling before I had even done my Bible study so I could repent profusely. However, on that previous day, I had not done the assignment my counselor had given me - to journal three good things that had happened that day. Stewart's flight home had been delayed, and he was very late getting in, so I had pretty much gone straight to bed without thinking about the good things of the day. So underneath my "toddler tantrum" to God I wrote the following:
1) I got out of [that thing I had prayed to get out of]. (And in the most hilarious, God-like way possible, I might add. His fingerprints were all over it!)
2) Stewart got home.
3) I read The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin to Evan for the first time, and he loved it!
After doing this exercise, I felt free to begin my Bible study. The Lord spoke over me many beautiful verses of healing and care that touched me. There was no condemnation. No criticism. Just love.
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world." (John 16:33)
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have what I need.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life;
he leads me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff—they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4)
Isn't that just like our God? We give Him our worst. He gives us His best in return. I learned that day that it is far better to trust Him than to stomp our foot like a child and spew out words of anger. Yes, sometimes we need to get those words out. But as the Psalmist does many times, he gets the requests of his heart and the bad things going on out of the way, but he always ends in confident trust in God. I had not done that in my journal. I have not been doing that in my life in general. It’s time for my childish tantrums to stop and time for me to trust Him more!
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