I entered this week very fearful. We had two major appointments scheduled for this week - one for me and one for Evan. Both had the potential to change this family forever.
To say that I was worried would be an understatement. I was nearly out of my mind with anxiety. I begged for the peace of God, but for the life of me, I just couldn't feel it. I was so clouded in fear that I couldn't get there.
I wondered why in the world I was like this. So negative. Doubting so much. I never used to be like this. Then the Lord gave me the reason. Several of you commented on last week's post that you were impressed with how Zach had faith someone was going to come get him. As I thought about this, I realized he had the faith of a child that Jesus so often talked about. He trusted without any reservations. He trusted without any conditions. He just had faith.
My faith has been tested in the last 5 years or so. In this time when it was tested again, I am ashamed to say I failed the test. Why? Because I have allowed past events to kill my faith. I was only seeing the "bad" and not the ways God had provided or grown me. I wasn't thinking about the people the Lord has brought in my path or the experiences that have allowed me to help others.
It was very obvious this week that the Lord had gone before us and had orchestrated events and people for our good. The Bible verses I read or was sent this week all pointed to the fact that I have never been forsaken. I have never been all alone. HE is there. HE is at work. HE is present. Because of this, I can have faith like my 6-year-old - without fear, reservations, or conditions. I can believe with my whole heart that Someone is going to take care of us. And He will.
To say that I was worried would be an understatement. I was nearly out of my mind with anxiety. I begged for the peace of God, but for the life of me, I just couldn't feel it. I was so clouded in fear that I couldn't get there.
I wondered why in the world I was like this. So negative. Doubting so much. I never used to be like this. Then the Lord gave me the reason. Several of you commented on last week's post that you were impressed with how Zach had faith someone was going to come get him. As I thought about this, I realized he had the faith of a child that Jesus so often talked about. He trusted without any reservations. He trusted without any conditions. He just had faith.
My faith has been tested in the last 5 years or so. In this time when it was tested again, I am ashamed to say I failed the test. Why? Because I have allowed past events to kill my faith. I was only seeing the "bad" and not the ways God had provided or grown me. I wasn't thinking about the people the Lord has brought in my path or the experiences that have allowed me to help others.
It was very obvious this week that the Lord had gone before us and had orchestrated events and people for our good. The Bible verses I read or was sent this week all pointed to the fact that I have never been forsaken. I have never been all alone. HE is there. HE is at work. HE is present. Because of this, I can have faith like my 6-year-old - without fear, reservations, or conditions. I can believe with my whole heart that Someone is going to take care of us. And He will.
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