As a frequent watcher of the younger generation on social media, it is apparent they have become the Pintrest generation when it comes to love. In case you haven't been on Pintrest, it's basically an idea board for any idea you may possibly have in life - ideas for foods, diets, fashion, crafts, weddings, baby showers, kid birthday parties, and memes. It is sort of a place to find any kind of information that you might need. It's great, and I use it all the time.
But when it comes to falling in love nowadays, it seems as if it didn't come from Pintrest, then it's not love. If it's not shiplapped, Mason jarred, farm house inspired, go-big-or-go-home perfect, then you've missed the mark. It seems as if the grand gesture has replaced the small, tiny moments when you know that love is real. I'm not saying that all those falling in love this way haven't found real love. Many of them have. But I fell in love with Stewart before social media existed, so I have no clue what all of this is like. Yes, our engagement was extremely special, and our wedding was one of the best days of my life. My fear is that those coming behind us may think that this is all there is to love. Not that there is anything wrong with Pintrest-inspired celebrations. As I said, I use it all the time. It's just doesn't always work out as the tutorials say (see: "Pintrest fail"). Once the vows have been said and the honeymoon is over, life begins, reality sets in, and we start looking real love in the face.
Sixteen years and two kids later, love looks a lot different than it did when Stewart and I were dating. Back then missing out on something as big as Valentine's Day was unthinkable. The holiday falling on a Wednesday wouldn't have mattered to me. I would have still expected my beloved to make a big to-do over me - even though he is a minister and has to work! Us not being able to go out when we planned would have crushed me. I would have felt as if the holiday didn't happen at all. That I really didn't matter to him. That he really didn't love me at all. The drama would have been real. The whining would have rivaled that of a two year old without a nap. It would not have worked for me. And the gift? If it wasn't big and meaningful, then don't even bother.
But now, all these years later, that's exactly what is happening. Valentine's Day falls on a Wednesday this year, so that means there will be no real celebration tomorrow. We will have breakfast as a family and exchange small gifts and cards. The boys will go to school. Stewart will go to work. Then we will go to church as usual.
When Stewart asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day this year, all I wanted was to spend the day with him. No diamonds. No flowers. No candy. Just him. We were supposed to go out last Friday on a day-long date, but I was still getting over the flu, so we could not go. Hopefully, we will get to go this Friday. However, to make up for it, he bought me flowers and brought home Chinese food so we could watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. The next day he got me a latte at the brand-new coffee shop that has opened in town. He did laundry. He cleaned bathrooms. He took care of the boys. He took Zach to his basketball game. He comforted Evan after numerous seizures. He took care of me. And in all of these small, ordinary moments, he showed me love. There was not much that was Instagram worthy (other than my latte, because it was pretty great). But in a thousand small acts of service, I saw what real love is all about. It's putting the other person first - even when that's not what we'd prefer to do. It's not desiring a big gift or a big production. It's revelling in the small. It's time. It's sacrifice. It's loving like Jesus did.
Paul said it best:
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 MSG
That's what love is. And I am thankful for a husband that shows me that kind of love every single day.
But when it comes to falling in love nowadays, it seems as if it didn't come from Pintrest, then it's not love. If it's not shiplapped, Mason jarred, farm house inspired, go-big-or-go-home perfect, then you've missed the mark. It seems as if the grand gesture has replaced the small, tiny moments when you know that love is real. I'm not saying that all those falling in love this way haven't found real love. Many of them have. But I fell in love with Stewart before social media existed, so I have no clue what all of this is like. Yes, our engagement was extremely special, and our wedding was one of the best days of my life. My fear is that those coming behind us may think that this is all there is to love. Not that there is anything wrong with Pintrest-inspired celebrations. As I said, I use it all the time. It's just doesn't always work out as the tutorials say (see: "Pintrest fail"). Once the vows have been said and the honeymoon is over, life begins, reality sets in, and we start looking real love in the face.
Sixteen years and two kids later, love looks a lot different than it did when Stewart and I were dating. Back then missing out on something as big as Valentine's Day was unthinkable. The holiday falling on a Wednesday wouldn't have mattered to me. I would have still expected my beloved to make a big to-do over me - even though he is a minister and has to work! Us not being able to go out when we planned would have crushed me. I would have felt as if the holiday didn't happen at all. That I really didn't matter to him. That he really didn't love me at all. The drama would have been real. The whining would have rivaled that of a two year old without a nap. It would not have worked for me. And the gift? If it wasn't big and meaningful, then don't even bother.
But now, all these years later, that's exactly what is happening. Valentine's Day falls on a Wednesday this year, so that means there will be no real celebration tomorrow. We will have breakfast as a family and exchange small gifts and cards. The boys will go to school. Stewart will go to work. Then we will go to church as usual.
When Stewart asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day this year, all I wanted was to spend the day with him. No diamonds. No flowers. No candy. Just him. We were supposed to go out last Friday on a day-long date, but I was still getting over the flu, so we could not go. Hopefully, we will get to go this Friday. However, to make up for it, he bought me flowers and brought home Chinese food so we could watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. The next day he got me a latte at the brand-new coffee shop that has opened in town. He did laundry. He cleaned bathrooms. He took care of the boys. He took Zach to his basketball game. He comforted Evan after numerous seizures. He took care of me. And in all of these small, ordinary moments, he showed me love. There was not much that was Instagram worthy (other than my latte, because it was pretty great). But in a thousand small acts of service, I saw what real love is all about. It's putting the other person first - even when that's not what we'd prefer to do. It's not desiring a big gift or a big production. It's revelling in the small. It's time. It's sacrifice. It's loving like Jesus did.
Paul said it best:
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 MSG
That's what love is. And I am thankful for a husband that shows me that kind of love every single day.
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