My devotional this morning began with this sentence: "At some point in your life, you're going to make choices that seem weird to other people." The writer made her point by quoting the story of David and Goliath - when the young, future king killed a giant with just a pebble. She said later that, "Decisions that seem weird to others are A-OK when they come with the Lord's covering." (Sophie Hudson, All in All, pages 30-31)
I began thinking about what my "weirdest" decision has been in life. My thoughts immediately went to my decision to go to seminary. At the time, I was between my sophomore and junior years of college. I was home for the summer, and the thought occurred to me that by the time I entered my junior year of high school, I knew where I was going to college and what my major would be. However, there I sat in my childhood room not knowing what was next. College days were nearly coming to an end, and I had no idea what to do. I was majoring in music, but it just wasn't working out. So obviously, I needed to find a new direction for my life. After flipping through the old copy of my college catalog that was still in my room, the pages fell open to the Department of Religion. Immediately, an idea came to my mind. "What if I switched my minor to religion and went to seminary and majored in counseling?" As I read about minoring in religion, I realized that I could fit all the course work into my next two years of college. The plan was coming together, and I knew at that moment that the Lord was directing my paths. Within the next two years, everything fell into place - including the potential husband to go along with it! And in the fall of 1998, I found myself standing on the campus of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
If you know me now, it may seem odd to you that I have two masters degrees from a seminary. After all, I'm just a mom and a pastor's wife. (And you all know there is no such thing as "just a mom" or "just a pastor's wife." There is so much more to it than that!) But it would seem that I am not necessarily using those two degrees. But oh I do! I use them weekly, if not daily! They come in handy when I am preparing a Bible study for college students or if someone asks me for advice in the hallway of the church. I even use them with my children at times - especially to help Zach understand what obedience to God looks like or what a particular song is saying on the radio. The decision to go to seminary was no weird decision - it was the right decision. And I'm having to apply that logic to a new direction toward which God is leading me.
For some time, I have felt like there was something more that God wanted me to do. Part of this has come from the feedback I have gotten from this blog. Some has come from a few events where I have gotten to speak or lead worship outside of our church. In those moments, I have felt as if I was doing what God wanted me to do. I have felt most fulfilled at those times. As I have read and studied much over the past several years, I have heard many say that those are the moments that you know you have found your "sweet spot" in ministry.
It seems strange for God to change my calling like that. However, I heard Beth Moore say years ago that our calling never changes, but our task might. Our calling is to go and make disciples, and that never changes. But our job in ministry can change. My ministries have changed throughout my life as a pastor's wife. I've been a church pianist, a Sunday school teacher, a fill-in secretary, a prayer group leader, and more things that I can't even think of at this moment. My latest task was college ministry leader. While I am still somewhat doing that job, God has led me to take a step back from doing it full time. That decision partially came because of Evan, but I believe there are other reasons, too. I believe God has called me to speak and lead worship outside our church more. Right now, I don't know what that looks like. I don't know how He is going to open doors or how He's not. I just know that I was led to write this and tell the world that this is what He is saying to me.
At this moment, the only thing I could ask of you is that you pray for me. This is a leap of faith for me. I am not a "put myself out there" person. I am trying to be obedient to where the Lord is leading me.
So here it is y'all. My weird decision. As my devotional said this morning, I am "resting in the weird" and knowing God will take it from here.
I began thinking about what my "weirdest" decision has been in life. My thoughts immediately went to my decision to go to seminary. At the time, I was between my sophomore and junior years of college. I was home for the summer, and the thought occurred to me that by the time I entered my junior year of high school, I knew where I was going to college and what my major would be. However, there I sat in my childhood room not knowing what was next. College days were nearly coming to an end, and I had no idea what to do. I was majoring in music, but it just wasn't working out. So obviously, I needed to find a new direction for my life. After flipping through the old copy of my college catalog that was still in my room, the pages fell open to the Department of Religion. Immediately, an idea came to my mind. "What if I switched my minor to religion and went to seminary and majored in counseling?" As I read about minoring in religion, I realized that I could fit all the course work into my next two years of college. The plan was coming together, and I knew at that moment that the Lord was directing my paths. Within the next two years, everything fell into place - including the potential husband to go along with it! And in the fall of 1998, I found myself standing on the campus of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
If you know me now, it may seem odd to you that I have two masters degrees from a seminary. After all, I'm just a mom and a pastor's wife. (And you all know there is no such thing as "just a mom" or "just a pastor's wife." There is so much more to it than that!) But it would seem that I am not necessarily using those two degrees. But oh I do! I use them weekly, if not daily! They come in handy when I am preparing a Bible study for college students or if someone asks me for advice in the hallway of the church. I even use them with my children at times - especially to help Zach understand what obedience to God looks like or what a particular song is saying on the radio. The decision to go to seminary was no weird decision - it was the right decision. And I'm having to apply that logic to a new direction toward which God is leading me.
For some time, I have felt like there was something more that God wanted me to do. Part of this has come from the feedback I have gotten from this blog. Some has come from a few events where I have gotten to speak or lead worship outside of our church. In those moments, I have felt as if I was doing what God wanted me to do. I have felt most fulfilled at those times. As I have read and studied much over the past several years, I have heard many say that those are the moments that you know you have found your "sweet spot" in ministry.
It seems strange for God to change my calling like that. However, I heard Beth Moore say years ago that our calling never changes, but our task might. Our calling is to go and make disciples, and that never changes. But our job in ministry can change. My ministries have changed throughout my life as a pastor's wife. I've been a church pianist, a Sunday school teacher, a fill-in secretary, a prayer group leader, and more things that I can't even think of at this moment. My latest task was college ministry leader. While I am still somewhat doing that job, God has led me to take a step back from doing it full time. That decision partially came because of Evan, but I believe there are other reasons, too. I believe God has called me to speak and lead worship outside our church more. Right now, I don't know what that looks like. I don't know how He is going to open doors or how He's not. I just know that I was led to write this and tell the world that this is what He is saying to me.
At this moment, the only thing I could ask of you is that you pray for me. This is a leap of faith for me. I am not a "put myself out there" person. I am trying to be obedient to where the Lord is leading me.
So here it is y'all. My weird decision. As my devotional said this morning, I am "resting in the weird" and knowing God will take it from here.
I love this! And when you start on your speaking tour, be sure to add DC in the mix. I will be the first to buy tix!
ReplyDeleteMay God bless your obedience.
You will be my first call for sure!
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