The Coffee Conspiracy: Part 4, The Final Cup

(For the earlier installments in this saga, please see here, here, and here.)

Dear Keurig,



Well, you finally did it. You finally made us angry enough, and we are done.

This past Saturday, we were thrilled to have my best friend Diana and her family here with us for Zach’s last Upward basketball game. Diana is one of my favorite coffee drinking buddies, so I was looking forward to having a cup with her after lunch.

Keurig, as we spoke a couple of summers ago, you were doing fine. I was mostly having to use you to make hot water for my new hot tea addiction, but you were doing your job. Several months ago, I started drinking coffee in the afternoons again, and you have made it enjoyable. But this time, you messed with the wrong member of this family.

After successfully making Diana and me a nice cup of coffee, you, once beloved Keurig, decided not to work anymore when my darling husband Stewart went to make his cup. He tried to get you to work. He really did. He looked up tutorials on the internet. But alas, he could not make you work.

As the coffee pot not working is a major emergency, my dear, sweet husband headed off to Walmart with Zach to get a new one. I was hoping he would come back with a newer, better Keurig. A bright shiny model that would look amazing on my counter. This is what he came back with:



Yep, we have gone to the dark side - Hamilton Beach. Stewart is done with you, Keurig. And I guess that means I am, too. This has been a long, fruitful relationship. But after so many let downs and failures on your part, it’s time to move on. So long, Keurig. I’ll see you at church - where there are about 20 of you all over campus!

Sincerely,
A Disappointed Pastor’s Wife

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